Hello everybody
welcome to the Content Sommelier(content faggot)
Today guys I'm feeling like being a little bit aesthetic
We're gonna put some piano music in the back ground
and today we're gonna roast some fucking ass
today I wanted to record this video
look into the camera, realize that I got a haircut
and look like a complete fucking faggot
So today, I'm feeling a lil faggy
You know?
So yeah everybody, make sure to relax in your seats
grab yourself a cup of tea, or wine perhaps if you're feeling lucky
Sit back, grab yourself some classy, cozy snack like
DORITOS or something
and lets get in on this
slurping noise
Today on this episode of Content Sommelier we're gonna be looking at
ya boi, Rice "the virgin" gum and you guys might tell me
"NFKRZ you succ, stop making videos about other people
stop making videos about trending topics" Well the fact is
Ricegum is not trending right now and he's just making cancer
and I actually wanted to make this video for some time now because Ricegum and his videos
have been kinda fucking annoying me
Pewdiepie dis track featuring KSI coming soon, hell yeah
that's a great title right there
If you guys have missed out on the whole story with Pewdiepie and Ricegum basically what happened is that
there is a youtube known as BradDoesBanter and what BradDoesBanter did is that he posted a tweet
on Twitter basically making fun of Ricegum and comparing him
to Papa KimJung Un
Y'know the classic, the classic joke, that one's fucking classic
And what are the odds? Pewdiepie liked the tweet and guess what?
Ricegum made an entire video(got triggered) based on Pewdiepie liking a tweet making a small little joke
about Ricegum. "So tell me why he would fav this tweet, hold on. Right here! It says 'Ricegum starter pack'
But he probably found this funny, he probably 'laughed out loud'(k pal)"
Y'know guys, it's pretty fucking pathetic. And at that point everybody was like "Yeah, Ricegum is fucking desperate cunt."
but now it gets even worse because Ricegum is basically out of ideas at this point(Hmmmm sounds familiar Roman??)
What he does on his channel is that he makes a vlog in which he makes a very very clickbait thumbnail
*greasy Pig Inhales*
that has absolutely nothing to do with the video and the title has nothing to do with the video
for example, like this one: Pewdiepie diss track featuring KSI coming soon.
Hell yeah, that a lot of tags in the title, you probably learned this one from Keemstar the nigga or Daddy Scarce
Good morning guys, I just woke up, 'bout to walk down the stairs to see what these guys are up to today
Yo
What?
Guys, I just woke up *stretches asian arms*
Yep guys, that's fucking, that's entertainment right here.
Pewdiepie featuring KSI diss track coming soon.
Hey guys, I just woke up, I'm a lazy piece of shit (You didn't need to admit that. We already knew). That's quality entertainment right here.
I mean, to be fair, some fat fuck in a chair with a cup of tea in his hand commentating some asian cunt
is not entertainment as well, but, don't you tell me anything, okay, this is top quality stuff right here.
We are on our way to a tailgate. I've never been to a tailgate in my life, I don't know what that even means
but
We're going *super gay outro*
Well guys, here's the problem, I don't understand why people even watch this shit
okay, this is just a boring ass vlog. And I like vlogs, okay, when its, y'know some Casey Neistat type shit
When Casey is just driving his fucking boosted board along New York City having a fucking danger of
bumping his caveman head into some car head-on traffic and crashing his skull into pieces and just
DESTROYING HIS LIFE
on camera, thats interesting.
I mean, to be fair, the title is Pewdiepie diss track featuring KSI coming soon, so Ricegum has a point there
yeah...
That title deserves views.
That statement that I just said makes me want to pour hot tea on my dick so I never have kids.
*Papa Franku* You'll never have kids 'cause you're ugly and gay.
Oh ;(
*bratty kids screeching about how much they love Ricegum*
*Rice "the virgin and creepy pedofile" gum telling the little pests to dab*
*The reason why aliens will exterminate our species*
Yeah guys, see you later, I'm gonna go and pour this hot tea onto my DICK
So fucking die or something, I don't know.
*gay ass music plays for some goddamn reason*
Every single fucking vlogger right now, since Casey Neistat has stopped doing vlogs, every single
fucking vlogger is trying to replicate the style of Casey Neistat.
Editing to music, cool effects, and what Ricegum does with this. He's supposed to be a "comedy" channel
So what he does is he adds a stock image of a *fat Russian pig language* foot ball, or a soccer ball onto a Super Bowl ticket
*inhales and slurps*
and that is the big comedy in this video.
*thinks about the hardships and the joys of life and how death is inevitable and how our lives are so short. How he is wasting time making gay youtube videos.*
Five million subscribers, I'm wanna fucking kill myself.
Look d00d, at this point I've tried everything, okay, I've tried it all.
I've tried music, I've tried commentary,
I've tried fucking your momma *wow thanks dad*
and it just doesn't seem to work, it just doesn't seem to work. What works though, is making clickbait vlogs, so
*Russian communist pig realizes how to take money from the masses*
Okay, that's fucking it then, tomorrow guys, expect a new video called
"SHE SUCKED MY DICK!?"
With that thumbnail in there
Hell yeah, that's gonna be my next video guys, subscribe, like, and comment.
Ricegum, you made me do this.
(some really high quality 120p recorded on Ricegum's iPhone 3)
Look, I don't know, I don't know what to say about this. "Her face when you stick it in the wrong hole"
That's comedy right there, that's fucking 9gag comedian level shit, thats not even
9gag, that's Instagram comedy, thats SoFlo Antonio video caption level shit.
Ricegum, are you fucking retarded?
This is comedy apparently, this is comedy.
I don't know if Ricegum himself does this, if he does, that's absolutely abysmal
But if it's actually his editor, I could forgive him, y'know.
The thing is when I made a video on Kwebbelkop I got a lot of hate because that video of Kwebbelkop was like
"My dad just died, hello everybody"
*INTENSE AIR GUITAR WOWOWOWOWOW*
The thing is that it was made apparently by his editor and not actually edited by Kwebbelkop, so it was done
in very very bad taste, it probably is the same here with Ricegum. He just puts instagram SoFlow Antonio memes
which is absolutely fucking abysmal.
*beautiful chocolate man screeching, trying to communicate to his people*
Pewdiepie, watch out...fuck off.
*Intense stock music*
*same beautiful chocolate man...BUT LAUGHING*
Yeah, that was actually the thing that made the title for the video, Pewdiepie diss track featuring KSI coming soon.
I think I've come up with an idea, how to make titles with clickbait vlogs.
Basically what you do is you upload a vlog with ten minutes of cancer, much like with the commentary I do on this channel
*Pig stutters* And then you kind of, uh, there's one thing that is actually
either stands out or something actually interesting in the vlog, so
I don't know, for example, you're vlogging and a girl on the street pays you
attention and says "Hi sweetie" or "Hi cutie"
And that's like the only interesting part in the entire fucking ten minute video so what you do is
you title the video "GIRL ON THE STREET WANTED TO SUCK MY DICK BECAUSE I WAS VLOGGING?!?!?!?"
*minor stroke*
And there you go, the new fucking Casy Neistat has fucking emerged.
Cheers.
So yeah, Ricegum's content at this point is absolute dogshit and what I like about this whole situation though
is that his fans have finally realizing how shit he is.
We got comments like this going on in the top comments *reads comment*
Exactly. That's true, Ricegum, because when the funniest thing in your video is a 9gag meme that says
"When you put it in the wrong hole"
Uh, yeah, you're not doing a great job at it.
*Something about Ricegum dying, him being hated more, some other cancer that probably involved the virgin being lazy, I think*
I like this! I like this a lot. The thing is, is that Ricegum has always been an untalented fuck. (You're one to talk, you uncultured Pig)
His diss tracks are dog shit. Even me, NFKRZ, whose, my engli- english is not even my first language and I speak like a
retarded fucking child with autism or something like, blah blah blah ble blazers nfkrz 'ere
But regardless, me being a fuck with a retarded accent didn't stop me from
being better at music and diss tracks than Ricegum, and thats not only my opinion, that's the popular opinion
because if you go on any of my diss tracks on youtube the only comments are saying
'this nigga is so much better than Ricegum' basically.
And Ricegum of coarse has been making very very retarded videos, for example he was making videos on
on Idubbbz, when the whole Leafy and Idubbbz thing was going down he was basically saying
''Oh look this guy Idubbbz uploaded a video and holy shit if Idubbbz drops a content cop on me, motherfucka
I will respond because Idubbbz is not as good as me and I'm gonna roast him.''
It's just dog shit content
"Glowing 1000 degree knife vs human body part" Now, myself, I've been guilty to this
I've made a video on the glowing 1000 degree knife trend.
Here's what Ricegum's video is, it's ten minutes, three seconds, of coarse, classic.
Then the entire video is just him vlogging, just basically doing fucking nothing going to the fucking
custodians office or whatever the fuck.
Then he just walks around cosco, I mean, like, what is this? H3H3 productions or some shit?
He cuts some toilet paper, thats fucking epic d00d!!!!!
*Kim Jong-un looking motherfucker plots to take over America with an 1000 degree glowing knife*
"But I'm sorry for not uploading guys, I gotta do it, I gotta do it. *fake ass chopping noise*"
I don't know what this is, Ricegum, I don't know what this is. What actually makes me sick about this video is that
not only that it's absolutely fucking boring, mundane, and it's clickbait cancer. What makes me sick about the whole video is
that what you did is you are standing in a garage, with your fucking 70 year old ping chong chang chan chong
viatnameise mother, in your fucking garage, and you just take off your fucking pants in front of her
pretending to have your small asian cock cut off.
*rethinking life.......again*
Y'know, they say money can't buy happiness, but this guys life is a fucking train wreck
I mean he's pretending to cut off his dick in front of his mother in the fucking garage in some fucking shitty warehouse
What is this?
I mean c'mon guys, you gotta feel bad for Ricegum at this point, because, Ricegum,
the thing is, is that the guy has no charisma, unlike your boi NFKRZ over 'ere
with his Russian heart and soul that just pours onto you from the screen.
But yeah, Ricegum has had a very quick rise and is now in the same cancer pile such as Ricegum, Leafyishere,
NFKRZ
Next time you guys see a Ricegum clickbait video is your recommendations, just don't click on it and don't get mad
Just point at it and laugh and say that his asian pee pee is small, because that seems to get him very very fuckin mad
*Crying about his small ass dicc*
I mean at this point, Ricegum has said so many times in his videos that his pee pee is not small
actually small because he is asian, well, it actually might be, he's projected about it so many fucking times
hes gotta have a small asian pee pee
*This greasy pig nigga just talk about dicks and shit like he some gay ass motherfucker?*
Anyways guys, that was NFKRZ, the Content Sommelier, hopefully you got some aesthetic vibes
from todays very very nice evening, hopefully you got yourself a cup of tea to watch me rant about
Ricegum, because I don't really like him.
If you guys did enjoy this more sort of rambling video, makes sure to slap the motherfucking like on this video
and I will do more ;)))))))
Anyways that was the video, if you did enjoy watching it, slap the motherfucking like button
I will see you guys in the next one.
*ROADHOG-LOOKING MOTHERFUCKERSNORTS THE TEA*
*Cancerous dubstep outro that the pig should kill himself for*